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Joke of the Day

"Me: Was this product tested on animals? Clerk: Yes. Me: [outraged] I knew it!!!! Clerk: Sir, that's a dog leash."

"What does a sandal do on Sunday's? It saves its sole."

"Al Gore should have had a band named The Algorehythms. Courtesy of my dad at lunch today."

"Did you hear about the family with hereditary diarrhea? They said it runs in their jeans"

"Is that all? ""I wanna stab you."" Huh? ""Cut your throat."" What? ""Drink your blood."" Um. ""Have your baby."" Uh. ""Kidding! I'll have a coke."""

"My wife says she is really looking forward to the hotel... But I have my reservations."

"Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in."

"When I go to a birthday party... I like to pull out the gifts I got and show and tell everyone what I brought for the birthday person... I just want my presence to be known..."

"What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"Bigger Breasts Wife: ""How can I make my breasts bigger?"" Husband: ""Just rub toilet paper between them"" Wife: ""Why would that work?"" Husband: ""It worked on your butt"""