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Joke of the Day

"Whats long and black? the unemployed line."

"Absolutely love holding my son, I can't stop looking at him. Whoops! This is a churro. It's just a churro."

"I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know."

"when it snows are snowmen ever like holy shit it's my flesh"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"Why did the students need a ladder to get into school? It was a high school."

"I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend."

"Dont' Wake the Baby by Elsie Cries"

"A man walks into a bar.. he got a beer, waited the responsible 1 hour, and drove home."

"What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts. "