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Joke of the Day

"Oh the Irony.... My predictive text doesn't know how to spell Nostradamus."

"Why girls want to be mermaids 1. No pants 2. No periods 3. Perfect hair 4. You get to lure men to their deaths 5. Free clam bra"

"What's the difference between a sperm and a Young Republican / Young Conservative A sperm has at least a 1 in 100 million chance of becoming a human being"

"[car dealership] ""Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?"" *Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* ""Oh."""

"It's true what they say: shut up."

"Autocorrect changed Friend to Fiend but sleeping with a Fiend with Benefits is actually a little more exhilarating"

"They say that you are safer in a bigger group Unless you're with 6 million...and everyone is jewish"

"A riddle Who's got orange skin, poor speaking skills, is overwhelmingly disliked and is in over his head? Yeah, I know, too easy right? It's Jar Jar Binks"

"Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her."

"Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette? Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night."