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Joke of the Day

"The best argument for ""the sequel is never as good as the original"" is birds v. dinosaurs."

"ME: Man, I really should get glasses. I'm blind as a-- BAT NEXT TO ME: blind as a what ME: um BAT: as a what ME: BAT: say it"

"Are curses real? of course the f*cking are... (thanks dad)"

"Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color."

"I once shot a deer in my pajamas... How it got in my pajamas, I will never know."

"A lawyer and a boulder are dropped from a cliff at the same time. Which hits the ground first? Who cares?"

"Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit"

"Why are Jewish Men Circumcised? Because Jewish Women won't buy anything unless it's 25% off. You're welcome Reddit"

"Justin Bieber was caught smoking weed. Right now weed is denying it to its cool friends."

"Why are police officers bad at Billiards? They hit eight ball first because it was black."