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Joke of the Day

"I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast"

"Opinions are like mixtapes... I don't want to hear yours."

"Please don't put out your cigarettes in the urinal... they are so damn hard to light up again."

"Q: How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!"

"What's better than having sex with an 8 year old boy against a barbed wire fence? Nothing."

"What does a cow measure its harddrive in? Moogabytes"

"What do steaks and pot brownies have in common? If you eat either of them in India you'll get stoned."

"What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged? Mentally dis-cabled."

"We were so high at the movies that I tried find my seatbelt and my friend helped me look for it."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"