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Joke of the Day

"Opinions are like mixtapes... I don't want to hear yours."

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them"

"9am: protein shake, oatmeal 1pm: small salad, chicken breast 5pm: grilled salmon, spinach 9pm: 4 whole ""i don't give a shit anymore"" pizzas"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cash ! Cash who ? Cash me if you can !"

"A very short ginger joke The only soul a ginger has is on their feet."

"Oh no! The universe just imploded itself...... ...... No matter."

"Procrastination is like masturbation... It feels good at first, but in the end, you realize that you just fucked yourself."

"They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal."

"On what should you mount a statue of your cat ? A caterpillar !"

"I avoid checking my bank account. I just don't need that negativity in my life."