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Joke of the Day

"Made yah look."

"Kid is destined to be gaye My friend just named her newborn baby ""Marvin"""

"Two artists had an art contest... It ended in a draw"

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"""

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. I now have $999,999.75"

"What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common? There's no jack"

"[1st Day working at Hotel California] Guest: Id like 2 check out Me: Sure! Youre all set! G: Thanks! [Leaves] Boss: Can I see u in my office"

"I was dating a radiologist... but it didn't work out: she could see right though me."

"The other day I walked up to a homeless person. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'I thought you were homeless!'"

"Once an octopus figures out how to do roundhouse kicks, humans are pretty much done"