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Joke of the Day

"Molestation is no laughing matter. For most, its a very touchy subject."

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"I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster"
"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. And then it dawned on me."
"I love you, too because I love you less than three <3"
"Spez tells us that we should take our time to vote today, because it ""matters""... That's the fucking joke."
"Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once. *pops jean jacket collar* I got marmalaid."
"ME: My cat isn't overweight; she's just big-boned VET: This is a dog"
"Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? (First) He kept getting nailed to the boards."
"If the workouts you're talking about aren't the bedroom variety no one wants to hear about it."
"The zoo only has one animal it's a shih tzu."