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Joke of the Day

"ME: My cat isn't overweight; she's just big-boned VET: This is a dog"

"'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride' is good advice for any best man."

"What do you call a fat Chinese man? A chunk."

"So a Blonde is sitting with her Blonde friend at the bar... ...and says to her friend ""I slept with a brazilian last night."" ""That's **terrible!**"" her friend says. ""How much is a brazilian?"

"If you listen to Nicki Minaj backwards, you'll hear the illuminati's plans What's worse, if you listen to it forward, it's Nicki Minaj"

"I threw up in a porta potty at a Winger concert back in 88' .... We did not have the internet back then so I'm telling you now."

"My dad was walking around the house screaming yesterday.... He kept shouting, ""A, E, I, O, U"". ""What's wrong?"", I asked him. To which he responded, ""Nothing, I just have irritable vowel syndrome..."""

"Luke Skywalker is well on his way to completing his comic book collection... ...he's already got all the daddy issues."

"I used to be in to S & M, Necrophilia, and Beastiality... But then I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"What do you call a drug-addicted duck? A quackhead."