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Joke of the Day

"ME: My cat isn't overweight; she's just big-boned VET: This is a dog"

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"How do you keep someone in suspense?"
"ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile"
"What do Gay men have in the morning? Sticky Buns! ;D"
"I was going to tell you this joke about Matthew Shepard... ...but I'm kind of on the fence about it."
"For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime? Racketeering"
"The inventor of puppets must have been really fucking lonely."
"How do you find a blind man at a nudist colony? It's not hard"
"Q: Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns? A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."
"What brand of computer is best at singing? A Dell"