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Joke of the Day

"Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!"

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah, it runs in your jeans!"

"The gift that keeps on giving Herpes. Hehe ;)"

"Wife: can u unstack the dishwasher? Me opening dishwasher, taking out large knife & cutting my hand off: I can't, there's been an accident."

"How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't see the point and just sit in the dark."

"Me: I know it hurts, but you'll learn to love again. Sheep: I don't know. I can't even look at ewe right now."

"Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what ""DNR"" means."

"I get it short people, I get it. Oooops sorry typo, I'll get it short people, I'll get it."

"My dad asks my little brother, ""Hey son do you know what sea monster's favorite snack is?"" ""Ships and dip!"" *dips chip in dip*"

"What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd."