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Joke of the Day

"How does Snoop Dogg get revenge? Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies."

"Two eggs and a piece of bacon walk into a bar The bartender asks them to leave. They all ask why. Bartender says, ""We don't serve breakfast here."""

"Wife: for the last time buy a terrarium Me: [drops 7 lizards into my shirt] why they already have a home"

"TIL that in 1940 a German U-Boat captain found himself aboard a British vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket."

"I'm very patient in the way that I can last 45 minutes trying to fix something before I have to pound the shit out of it with a hammer."

"What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common? If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years."

"If you ask me to go get ""Eyetalian"" food with you, our friendship is probably over."

"Yo' Mama Jokes Battle! I'll start! Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables."

"Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full."