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Joke of the Day

"People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I'm not expecting them to be practical"

"At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat."

"Worry: a waste of imagination."

"What's a riot? Three dyslexics."

"A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out... They were lack toes intolerant."

"What did one gay sperm say to another gay sperm? How do we find an egg in all this shit? Credit to my friend telling me"

"When you're at someone's house: Normal people: ""What a lovely house!"" Me: ""What's your WiFi password?"""

"I just heard because of the government shutdown government archeologists are working with a skeleton crew."

"If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board."

"What app do nervous ppl order on dates? Chicken Tinders."