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Joke of the Day

"A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out... They were lack toes intolerant."

"What is a psychic medium? ...smaller than a psychic large."

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

"Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage."

"I sleep like a baby... With your mom's tit in my mouth."

"ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut ""you mean duct taped, right?"" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*"

"I recently quit my job at a wind farm... It turns out i'm not a big fan"

"My girlfriend doesn't give me any space in the bed, so I bought a bigger bed."

"Which is worse: that I had to wear a Frozen bandaid cuz all the regular ones were taken or that I spent 5 min. deciding between Anna & Elsa?"

"Inside jokes [deleted]"