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Joke of the Day

"I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect."

"Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike? It could be ~~yours~~ your bike. EDIT: Spelling."

"How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb Ill let you know once they get back to me"

"Getting caught I got caught jacking off at the store yesterday. But seriously, who pays for bug spray?"

"I like the term urban camper We all know you mean you're homless, but it's less awkward because it has the word camping in it. For all we know you could be roasting smores under a bridge or some shit."

"[airport security] *Beep* ""step through again, but don't say Beep."" *Alarm* ""Once more sir, but if u speak, I'll shoot u."" {thinks} *bzzt*"

"I once had a girlfriend who had a lazy eye... I had to dump her because she was seeing other people."

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."

"I made my wife chuckle with this joke Now she's back to being Barbara."

"if u disregard the teeth, shark attacks are actually kinda cute"