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Joke of the Day

"DOG BOSS: ur fired ME: wait, is there any way you'll reconsider? DOG BOSS: no ME: u want to go for a ride in the car DOG BOSS: *tilts head*"

"I went on a blind date once... ...her name was ....:::..... ::...:..:...:"

"So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forget the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"What happens if the protesters in Egypt win? They advance to the finals against Tunisia."

"Pirate ship Why did the pirate carve a topless mermaid into the front of his ship? Yar, cause wouldn't it be loverly"

"Pizza at gay marriages will inevitably become a trend. It will be largely symbolic (and artisanal)."

"[Knock at door] MAN: Hello I'm here to talk about Jesus Christ!! Sorry, a spider landed on me. I'm here to talk about bondage ME: Do come in"

"Wanna hear a short joke ? Wanna hear another one ?"

"What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist? Haw"

"Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus."