32966

Joke of the Day

"Why are there never any cool side affects from drugs? Like ""this drug may cause severe sexiness"""

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture"

"My 5 year old's original joke My son came up with this one. Clever, I thought. What has one wheel, spins, but never moves? A Ferris wheel."

"[at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building"

"Listen, you can keep retaking all the pictures you want but that's just what your face really looks like."

"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" *sighs* ""Because I'm a sweater"" ""BECAUSE YOUR A SWE- hehe yeah that's weird but no. Tail light's out."""

"I know one person who thinks he's an owl. Who? Now I know two."

"How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch."

"Why didn't the witch wear panties.... So she could grip the broom better."

"Some guy just passed toilet paper under the stall without me even asking. I'm not sure if he is a pervert or a wizard."