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Joke of the Day

"Some guy just passed toilet paper under the stall without me even asking. I'm not sure if he is a pervert or a wizard."

"I was desperate, I *needed* a recipe for Indian bread! But I found naan..."

"Dude: You got a light? Me: Sure. *hand him a flashlight* Dude: I mean for my cigarette. Me: Yeah, he can use it."

"How do you pleasure a capitalist? An invisible handjob."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a lentil on my face."

"Well well well, if it isn't the guy who sprayed air freshener into my restroom stall..."

"I like my sex how I like my endoplasmic reticulum... Rough"

"I just got an email offering ""free bible verses"". You know, because who can afford bible verses?"

"Octopus How does an octopus make you laugh? With ten-tickles"

"so a man is playing a violin in the middle of the jungle And a lion comes up and eats him. A tiger comes up and says ""hey man why did you do that? It sounded beautiful"" and the lion replied WHAT?"