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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: What do you think you're doing parking your car there? Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says ""Safety Zone."""

"Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're plane wrong."

"Religion is like Gym Classes Some people whine excessively about it, most don't really care and those who take it too seriously usually don't go too far in life."

"Apple just announced a 20-year plan to develop technology that actually allows grid-like manual organization of Home screen app icons."

"Why couldn't the depressed person get his email? He had a bad Outlook."

"Shave legs ?? Bikini wax ?? Lose 10 lbs ?? Pluck eyebrows ?? Mani/pedi ?? Sexy panties ?? Ready for my big *date! *gynecologist"

"After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall."

"PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks."

"Did you hear that the DMV is going make all stop signs bilingual for Spanish Speakers in 2014? It's not going to be too expensive, though, all they have to do is add the ""e"" to the front."

"Free range chicken is better. The false illusion of freedom before slaughter makes them extra tender."