187982

Joke of the Day

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer once... I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."

"BEST ADVICE: Stick to One-Night-Stands, The biggest cause of marriage is dating."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Ho's."

"Somebody spotted a coyote in my neighborhood a few days ago. But it's cool, cause I just started carrying an anvil around everywhere I go."

"The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee."

"Your momma is so stupid that she thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease."

"Ok, Surgeon General, alcohol is bad for pregnant women. The warning label might be more effective stating alcohol causes pregnant women."

"I'm romantic so I treat my girlfriend to a candlelight dinner every night, plus she's getting fat and candlelight has like zero calories."

"I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball"

"How do you make a baby drink? You stick it in a blender."