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Joke of the Day

"I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day... ...so I said, ""Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..."" Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s."

"I almost died trying to brush my teeth with my left hand."

"Did you hear about the Chinese man who was arrested for sodomizing a 9-year-old? His name was Yung Bu Ti."

"My mind says ""no"" but my heart says ""yes"", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud"

"What do little green men do to stay in shape? They do Yoda."

"And then Satan said, ""save time ~ respond to her text with a K."""

"Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? He died instantly."

"I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car"

"You can say what you want about pedophiles... but at least they drive slowly thru school zones"

"The best American joke of all time Healthcare"