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Joke of the Day

"They say not to text and drive, but I still feel totally fine after like two texts"

"We took the animals for a walk and saw a sign: 'Dogging area, please control your animal and pick up their faces...'"

"i hate workimg at the lightbulb factory!! evrey day i hav to thimk of good ideas so they can harvest the lightbulbs that apear abov my head"

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well-hung."

"There should be a morning after pill for Supreme Court decisions."

"Man with a drippy dick. What did the man with a drippy dick say before he went to the bathroom? I'll be back in three shakes."

"Nerdiest joke I know. I'd tell you a joke about UDP packets, but I'm not sure you'd get it."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb One... but the lightbulb has to want to change."

"4-year-old: What does God smell like? Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese?"

"Whats a trilby clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?"