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Joke of the Day

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke had for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"Priests should not have to live in a state of forced celibacy, but be free to marry and let celibacy slowly descend upon them the usual way."

"How many spoiled rich girls does it take... ...to change a light bulb? Just one, she yells, ""DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"""

"I saw something yesterday that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it."

"Some young women are like bottles of wine They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar."

"What breaks when u give it to a toddler? Her hips"

"China is now entering sperm as contestants in Olympic swimming events, claiming they are of age."

"Ladies: If you have ever took any ""Glamour Shots"", I will assume that you lost your virginity in a Pontiac Firebird."

"Are you russian? No, I'm not in a hurry."

"My wife wanted to spice up our sex life. So she asks me if I wanna have a threesome. I said, ""Sweetie. If I ever have sex with two women at the same time..... neither one is gonna be you."""