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Joke of the Day
"If you play your cards right, I could be your 2nd and 4th husband."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Jesus and a framed picture of Jesus? You only need one nail for the frame"
"8yo: Ghosts real? Me: No! 4yo: I heard groaning last night 8yo: & a bed squeaking and moaning 4yo: What was that? Me: .. Them: .. Me: Ghosts"
"What do you get if you fuck someone in the ear? Hearing aids."
"New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer than the men who mention it"
"People ask me how I got a BMI of 21.2. I tell them, ""I just did the meth""."
"My Christian friend asked 4 proof there is no God.nnI pointed out Adam Sandler is a multimillionaire movie starnnNow my friend's an atheist"
"Intelligent people are some of the biggest idiots I've ever met."
"A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man. That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!"
"What do you call a cow with no nipples? Udderly pointless"