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Joke of the Day

"When a traffic light is out of service you should just treat the intersection as a demolition derby."

"Waitress: And what can I get for you, hon? Jesus: I'll have........ (snickering) a water"

"When asked what it was like getting over a Viagra addiction my buddy said,""Well my first few days were the hardest."""

"[at Applebees on Christmas] God: Your food good? Jesus: Ya, it- *a crowd of servers surrounds them* Jesus: You didn't... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y"

"If the meal between breakfast and lunch is called brunch and the meal between lunch and dinner is called linner, what's the meal between breakfast and dinner called? Lunch"

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg. Classic."

"It must have been so risky for pirates to slightly burn the edges of all their treasure maps and then dip them in tea."

"The chicken and the road of doom Why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know kernel sanders got him. R.i.p. lil' chicken"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aileen ! Aileen who ? Aileen against my Rolls Royce!"

"There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day."