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Joke of the Day

"One day I hope to be rich enough where I don't feel compelled to refill my fountain soda before I leave a fast food establishment."

"I tried to use my Dictaphone today. But I ended up just using my finger like everyone else."

"What do you call an anti-vaxxer? Greiving"

"What's a nymphomaniac's favorite candy bar? Almond joy."

"I once saw a theatrical performance about puns... It was a play on words."

"Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter (go ahead and down vote :P)"

"Someone should invent a version of Twitter for people who spell things like rappers. They could call it ""twita"". Dat would b nize"

"What is Al Qaeda's Favorite Football Team? The New York Jets."

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside to ask for a clothes hanger"

"What did the engineer say to the flood? Dam!"