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Joke of the Day

"Quotes to calm an angry woman: 1. Stress makes you fat. 2. My ex never acted like that. 3. I love you, even if you're just like your mom."

"Had a conversation with my ex-wife over a drink this afternoon. It was cordial."

"Why do women need to wear jockstraps while skydiving? To prevent them from whistling."

"What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife? ""10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"""

"A pothead, a rapist and a dog killer walk into a bar. The Steelers must be in town."

"""I love the north pole and hate the south pole!, wait I love the south pole and hate the north pole!"" ~ a bi-polar bear"

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve noble gasses here"" Argon doesn't react."

"So what kills a joke? The punch line . . ."

"Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino? He was caught counting carbs."

"I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days... And then I realised I was masturbating"