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Joke of the Day

"Why do women need to wear jockstraps while skydiving? To prevent them from whistling."

"The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby..."

"If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. ""The hamburgers are good."" And, ""They don't have hamburgers."""

"""We like the idea, we do. We're just afraid it's going to keep the viewer awake."" - Sundance Channel execs"

"I couldn't finish my dinner , so the waitress asked me: ""do you wana box for that ?"" I responded "" no , but i'll arm wrestle you for it """

"Unless you've studied Nazism at a Nazi university and you've read Mein Kampf (in German), your criticism of Nazism isn't valid -Nobody ever"

"Based on how much my bones and joints pop when I work out, I'm pretty sure I'm 80% rice krispies."

"You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"I don't always eat breakfast But when I do, I have dos eggies"

"If shes's being being anal about it Give her sex and you'll make her whole day, Give her anal sex and you'll make her hole weak"