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Joke of the Day

"My doctor just told me I have Parkinson's... ...I'm pretty shaken up about it."

"I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently"

"""Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?"" ""you mean cheese?"" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] ""that does make more sense actually"""

"What did the Buffalo Say to his Son as he left for school? Bison"

"What do you do when you come across Santa on New Years Eve? You wipe it off and apologize."

"Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death? As he was finishing eating, she asked ""Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?"

"What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called? A Sith."

"If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong"

"What do ghosts get arrested for? Possession."

"How did the Mathematician cure his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."