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Joke of the Day
"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path."
Next Joke
"PIG: ""I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon"" PSYCHIATRIST: ""I'll cure you"" PIG: ""Oh God, not you too"""
"How do you shut up a deaf person? Punch them in the hands."
"Responsible pet owners pick up their dog's poop. Cool pet owners pick their dogs up from the airport (after their doggy business trips)."
"Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that?"
"In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo."
"How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize? It was out standing in its field!"
"Damn girl are you playboy magazine? Cause holy fuck you have a pile of issues"
"They brought the hot dog in for questioning. He gave the... wurst... answers."
"My doctor was concerned about my health My doctor was concerned about my colon's health and wanted two stool samples, but I couldn't give two shits."