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Joke of the Day
"What was Abraham Lincoln's seating preference? Not John Wilkes Booth!"
Next Joke
"I could tell a good gardening joke but it's too dirty."
"Whenever a girl refuses to tell a magician her age, he cuts her in half to count the rings."
"What do you call two gay Irish men? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick"
"Today was... ... the best day of the year"
"I got a sweater for Christmas. Wish I'd gotten a screamer or a squirter."
"(Computer science) I asked a Texan if he's seen his family tree, he said, ""you mean family graph?"""
"What's a zombies favorite exercise? Deadlifts"
"How do you drowned a hipster? Throw them in the mainstream. Edit: spelling because I'm 5"
"My single friends are always talking about clubbing and being hit on. Today's social scene sounds so violent."