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Joke of the Day
"Whenever a girl refuses to tell a magician her age, he cuts her in half to count the rings."
Next Joke
"I thought I saw an octopus but it was just 8 eels kissing a butternut squash."
"""will you be paying with cash or credit?"" ""Cash"" *start playing ""ring of fire"" on my kazoo *gets tackled by security*"
"What's a sailor's favorite kind of knot? It's a tie."
"I eat so much bacon my friends gave me a nickname... Kermit the frog."
"How many blondes does it take to... How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the chair"
"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children"" and thought to myself, ""Sounds like a fair trade."""
"Have you ever shoed a horse? No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."
"What do you call a middle eastern sorceress? A sandwitch"
"I saw two guys having a fight on the train. So, being a bouncer, I dealt with the situation accordingly. I just stood there looking like a cunt."