31988

Joke of the Day

"Man's appearance is not the most important thing. There are worse flows."

"I keep having flashbacks to my emo phase. I think I might have PTXD."

"Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish."

"God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him."

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?"

"I keep forgetting the ""o"" part of ""Hello."" My boss is NOT happy with the way I've been answering his phone."

"So a white man walks into a plastic surgeon's office... [FIXED] He tells the plastic surgeon, ""I want to become a black man."""

"Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers ""you're next""*"

"How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place?"

"What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common? They both love cracking open a cold one!"