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Joke of the Day

"God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him."

"I'm confused... square box, round pizza but triangle slices."

"What did Sloth say when he found gold? AU GUYS!!!"

"My parent's kitchen was designed with 11 light switches, all of which turn on the garbage disposal if you're trying to be quiet"

"What do you call a quiet asian? Silent-li"

"How do you know when you've played too much minecraft? When your friend wishes aloud that he could be creative and you tell him ,""your game mode has been changed."""

"I change Siri to a man's voice and now it doesn't answer any more questions and turns off for hours"

"A: We are moving to nicer street B: So are we going to more peaceful one A: Really? You are moving too? B: No, we are staying"

"I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating And I was like OMG"

"A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose."