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Joke of the Day
"They say that American beer is like having sex on a canoe. It's fucking close to water."
Next Joke
"Money's short"
"[at work] Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom? *standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards* ""No...why do you ask?"""
"My mom is the most hip and tech savvy person I know! She needs every possible search toolbar conceivable so the internet can keep up with her!"
"Siri, what kind of candy is in that van?"
"Cats are so lucky. Nobody thinks twice when they run from company and hide under the bed. I do it and its ""weird""."
"2nd grade poop joke going around. Knock knock. Who's there? Schmelmop."
"If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie"
"Just like winning the lottery... Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery. To my horror they were right.....we had 6 matching balls."
"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face."