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Joke of the Day
"People say I don't have what it takes Yeah, because every time I get it, it takes it."
Next Joke
"Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact."
"Do you really have to be skinny to wear skinny jeans or can you be a big fat giant monster? (asking for my big fat friend, Colleen)."
"You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no."
"Short joke about the computer-era generation A mother asks her son: ""What do you write at the end of a sentence"" ""Mmmmh.... a .com?"""
"Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels."
"Civil War spoilers Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth."
"I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house? Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway."
"Why's it taking so long to legalise gay marriage in the whole of the US? I mean, America had four fathers and it turned out alright"