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Joke of the Day

"Short joke about the computer-era generation A mother asks her son: ""What do you write at the end of a sentence"" ""Mmmmh.... a .com?"""

"A space heater... would have to be huge."

"There's a fine science to the number of texts you need to pretend to be friendly before asking someone for a favor."

"What's it called when the queen farts? Helium Neon Argon Krypton Xenon Radon"

"My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee."

"What do you call it if you put an IED on an Italian? Rigatoni!"

"When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage."

"What kind of tree do chickens come from? None of them you stupid fuck. Chickens come from other chickens, trees from other trees, and the 'try' part of 'poultry' isn't even spelled the same."

"Mad at your man? Five minutes before he gets home, turn on ""Pitch Perfect"" then hide the remote in the dishwasher."

"Why did the roadkill cross the road? Because somebody FINALLY turned on the lights."