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Joke of the Day

"I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work She responded ""yeah, and you have the same problem at home"""

"I'm having trouble discerning my Twitter voice from my professional one. I just said ""What's up, slut?"" to our receptionist. Frigid bitch."

"Why did the sandwich shop sound terrible? It was out of tuna..."

"I haven't spoken to my girlfriend in months. I don't want to interrupt her."

"What do Syrian refugees eat for breakfast? Syrial!"

"INTERVIEWER: under skills you've listed ""gets jokes"" ME: haha, very good. good one sir, haha"

"Job interview tip: Tell them you're not an applicant, you're an appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise."

"Guy: girl are you a newspaper? Girl: no why? Guy: because there's a new issue with you every fucking day."

"Doctor doctor I'm at death's door! Don't worry Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through."

"What do you call a joke that has been internet obsolete for a while? The Game."