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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ""middle of the road Democrat""? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back."

"Batman would probably be a better crime-fighter if he wasn't making movies all the time."

"After his failed Presidential run, Bernie Sanders decides to write a book and finally endorses Hillary Clinton. The Clinton Foundation bought 10 million copies in advance."

"I would like to tell you a remarkably sophisticated joke........... What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, because they were both stuck up cunts."

"Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March? They only had 2 trucks."

"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this."

"""Fluffy died today"" ""Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? ""He was a boa constrictor"" ""Well that made me feel better"""

"ROMEO:But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you."

"Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds."

"If a dog has puppies in a public place, can they be arrested for littering?"