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Joke of the Day

"Batman would probably be a better crime-fighter if he wasn't making movies all the time."

"Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he's solo."

"What do you call a five year old with no friends? [dark] A sandy hook survivor"

"What's an Arab man that drives a bus An otto-man"

"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."

"It was only after I started dancing in the food court - alone - that I learned flash mobs are planned..."

"To do list:nn1) Kill the fly in my room. nn2) Try to snort multivitamins.nn3) Practice Hadouken in mirror.nn4) Kill the fly's loved ones."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He tried to drink tea before it was cool."

"I tried to make a tiny blueberry pie But it ended up being a little tart."

"If my ex had an autobiography it would be called ""Mein Cramps"" What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?"