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Joke of the Day

"After his failed Presidential run, Bernie Sanders decides to write a book and finally endorses Hillary Clinton. The Clinton Foundation bought 10 million copies in advance."

"What'd be worse? Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter?"

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"What kind of jeans does mario wear? [Denim denim denim.](http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) ^^^^^^shamelessly ^^^^^^stolen ^^^^^^from ^^^^^^tumblr"

"Whats the resemblance between a prostitute and bungee jumping? You enjoy them both untill the rubber snaps."

"What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common? Baristas"

"Why is the man with the world record largest penis so depressed? He just didn't fit in."

"Since I've been on my own, I no longer trust a whole gallon of milk... The problem is every time I bring it into my house, it doesn't get drunk. It gets wasted."

"The Energizer Bunny was just arrested! He was charged with battery."

"I jerk off roughly once a day. I try to be a little more loving and gentle the other 2-3."