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Joke of the Day
"what do you call a deer without eyes? no eyedeer.."
Next Joke
"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman."
"ME: seen the loch ness monster? HER: it's not real M: *unzips pants* wanna bet? H: *rolls eyes* sure M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it"
"""They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?"" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft."
"Most of my tweets have been coming from a very dark place lately. That's what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill"
"There's no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs"
"I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?"
"How do you write a song that appeals to the gay audience? Just sit on a D! Edit: I tried this out on several of my gay friends n they loved it"
"How did Kobe Bryant go on his math test? He didn't pass."
"What does Sean Spicer call emails? Alternative fax."