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Joke of the Day

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil..."

"I've had my heart broken before, but I got back up on that horse and said ""C'mon, can't we give us one more chance? Stomp once for yes."""

"Why did the electron go to jail? He was charged with battery!"

"Hitler and his men are having a meeting. Hitler: We will kill 6 million Jews and 1 clown. Men: Why the clown? Hitler: See! I told you nobody cares about the Jews!"

"Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too drunk to find your keys."

"Accidentally dialed 911 so I set my neighbor's house on fire so I wouldn't look stupid."

"Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree? They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count."

"What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean"

"So I got myself a Cuban girlfriend... She is my Guantanamo bae."

"What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave."