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Joke of the Day

"I want to make a joke about Mexicans... ... but I don't want to cross the border."

"Why do all dads have huge dicks? Because the kids have tiny hands."

"You should always wrap your hamster in duct tape. That way, it won't explode when you fuck it."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"While Twitter is the slutty wife we all share, Facebook has become the humorless mother-in-law we all endure."

"Did you hear it's 'National Pretzel Day' in America today? Just making sure everyone knows it's knot bread... (thankyou Simpsons)"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? BECAUSE 7 8 9 HAAHAHA Wait..."

"Alan Rickman has passed away. He was going through a bad spell."

"Why do women have boobs? So ya got something to look at when yah talkin' to em'! So ya got something to look at when yah talkin' to em'! So ya got... Thanks Family Guy."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the S'mores of Pop-Tarts, it was the Unfrosted Strawberry of Pop-Tarts."