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Joke of the Day

"Hubby has an alarm app where you can record your own sounds or music to wake up to. I just changed his to ""THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!"""

"Got arrested for playing the guitar. Because I was fingering A minor."

"I thought I was drowning in an ocean of orange soda yesterday.... It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."

"""Dumb as a bag of hammers"" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? to get to the other side."

"How do you have a rave in Greece? Blu-Tac a euro to the ceiling."

"Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!"

"My all time favorite lawyer joke. Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW full of lawyers? A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

"Happiness is a relative thing. I finally have some extra money and suddenly my relatives are happy."