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Joke of the Day

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

"A gymnast walks into a bar...(X-Post from /r/funny) He gets a two-point deduction and ruins all chances of a medal."

"Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, ""is that short for Jimberly?"" and I have few friends in real life."

"What do you call a chicken with no neck? A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit."

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza store... and says, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"I wanted to be a pilot in the air force But they said I didn't have the right altitude."

"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C!"

"Why did the chicken cross the street? **DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**"

"Remember how you used to love getting all new school supplies and now you just steal them from the office?"

"Should be interesting when Trump meets the UK's prime minister... I wonder if he will shake her hand or grab her by the pussy"