30899

Joke of the Day

"Got caught smelling my sisters underwear yesterday. Made the rest of her funeral very fucking awkward."

"What was the slutty princess full of? Kingdom come"

"Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11....... a suicide."

"On TV shows, answering machines are actually saying leave a message after the fuck."

"me: ""so is this a date?"" hitchhiker: ""um"""

"How do I know I'm not Daniel Day-Lewis?"

"How do you know when a vampire is sick? He starts coffin..."

"Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer."

"What is the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom cant take a joke."

"Did you hear about the nympho waitress? She was sick of getting just the tip"