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Joke of the Day

"Behind every great man there's a great woman who can take whatever he just said and turn it into a great big fight."

"I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman? A meanderthal."

"Job interview What's your weakness?' Honesty.' I don't think honesty is a weakness.' I don't give a fuck what you think.'"

"Obviously, Mario Kart is not a documentary. It's a dramatization of real events."

"Did you hear about the constipated math professor? He worked his problem out with a pencil."

"LPT: If someone brings in home baked goods to say goodbye after being let go, don't eat them. I used laxatives."

"long-term plan is to let my debt build into the millions and when I die have a golden tombstone that says COME COLLECT IT IN HELL, TAX MAN"

"Why do parents feel the need to hold your phone when you show them a picture?"

"What do you call a cow that gets an abortion? De-calf-inated"

"What is the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians."