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Joke of the Day

"Best amputation jokes? Friend has bone cancer, may be getting an arm amputated. We have run ""I'd give my left arm"" and ""Single-handedly"" puns into the ground, and we need more amputation jokes."

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"What do you say to a man with no legs? Nothing, he'll shoot you."
"A cave man walks into a bar... ""Hey, Joe, has any one invented booze yet?"""
"Tom Swifty ""My mom is my dad!"" Said Tom transparently."
"My favourite position in bed...... The side nearest the socket so i can play with my phone while it's charging"
"Guy tells his doctor ""Every time I look in the mirror, I get an erection."" Doc says "" That's because you look like a pussy"""
"Two Borg walk into a holodeck. .. They wanted a simulation of all mankind."
"""May I have my surgery badge, Scout Master?"" ""Um, there's no such thing."" ""There was no such thing as a duck squirrel til now. Badge me!"""
"What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff? Nothing, she had her mittens on."
"How do you make a Gorilla laugh? Tell it an elephant joke!"