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Joke of the Day

"Two Borg walk into a holodeck. .. They wanted a simulation of all mankind."

"I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been in. Well played, Google."

"Getting gilded is like losing your virginity I have yet to experience it... Edit: Thank you, abcriminal, for the gold. It was a worthy experience."

"So I'm out in the woods taking a shit when... ...a bear strolls up, cocks his head with a funny expression, and says, ""I never knew you guys did that."""

"Remember when AOL was the shit? Then it sucked. Myspace was the shit. Then sucked. Facebook was the shit. Then sucked. Twitter is the shit!"

"WinRar is not free software."

"When someone's all, ""Words cannot begin to describe ..."" I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY."

"Why did they plant trees in Harlem? Public transportation."

"What's a pirate's favorite rapper? Kendrick Lamarrghhhh"

"""Look at that speed!"" said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads. ""Hmph!"" snorted the other. ""You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!"""