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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking of going on a diet. I'm going to become an egalitarian: I only eat eagles."

"If God had wanted you to talk more than listen, he would have given you two mouths and one ear."

"I hate how funerals are always at 9-10 AM... I'm not really a mourning person"

"What did the red dog say to the blue dog? Nothing, dogs can't speak."

"I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment."

"Donald Trump is still running for president because it is the only race he hasn't offended yet."

"Kanye and Kim name their first child North West... ....in hopes that it will one day be the lead singer for One Direction"

"What time does Wimbledon start? Tennish"

"Russian history in 5 words: ""And then things got worse."""

"I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again."